Archive for the ‘faith’Category

The Problem with Faith…

…is that whatever it is you are believing in is not – in the final analysis – provable.

That’s kinda the whole point, of course; the whole reason anyone ever needs faith is because if you have proof you don’t need faith, and if you can’t have proof then all you are left with is faith.

I think that’s the reason the Apostle Paul talked about “the gift of faith”. Those who are able to believe and not struggle are gifted every bit as much as those who effortlessly create great music or effortlessly dance or effortlessly grok calculus. For the rest of us, it’s work. Sometimes not very rewarding or satisfying work either, lemme tell you.

There’s a hymn I learned growing up called “Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing“; it’s one of my favorites partly because of the music, (I think it’s an old Welsh tune), but mostly because of this line:

Prone to wander, Lord I feel it / Prone to leave the God I love

That’s me. And I guess it isn’t just me because someone else wrote that line, so there’s at least two of us. And I also think about a Larry Norman song I learned a zillion years ago called Song for a Small Circle of Friends. There’s a line there where Norman, speaking to his friend Randy Stonehill, says

…you’re crazy but you know it and I love you as we both crawl towards the lamp.

That’s me, too. Crazy and I know, but still crawling towards the lamp.

21

09 2011

Life is Absurd

Doug got hired right after I did this year, and within a month of being hired, was in the hospital with a heart attack, or a bad liver or something screwed up on the inside. Nice guy – I remember him from class. Chicago, tall, older kids like me. See his name on emails every now and then, but that’s about it.

I thought last week was bad. Caroline had emergency surgery on Monday. Pop came down with shingles later in the week. I sprained my back on Friday and had to cancel a training trip to NJ because the chiro told me the worst possible thing I could do was sit. (Ever try to go through a whole day without sitting? I did it for 3 straight days.)

So I thought my week sucked, then I got an email this morning that Doug’s 20 year old son collapsed yesterday while playing basketball and never regained consciousness.

Life just begs for metaphors, because the reality is too big to comprehend. We gotta turn it into a metaphor so we can handle it. “Curve balls”, “raging flood”, “terrible storm”, “hurricane”, “speed bump”. None of those convey the intensity of the experiences real life brings. I’ve been through divorce, and that is as close to death as I want to come without actually dying. Losing a child must be worse. My mind is numb at the sheer size of the reality.

Anyone who reads me enough knows I oscillate between faith and doubt pretty regularly. Sometimes my faith is strong and certain. Sometimes it is all but gone entirely. After a lifetime of this sort of back and forth, I think I have found some sort of solid place to stand. It barely looks like faith to me, and I doubt it would qualify as faith for most people, but I have to be true to myself and the way I am wired this weak, frayed, shadow of faith is the best I can do.

Life is absurd. Twenty year old sons dying playing basketball is simply absurd. And yet — it happens. Shit happens. It is enough to make you think there is no God, or at least not one who cares enough to do anything worthwhile for his poor creatures.  But there is something inside me that I do not control that still believes. I would love to NOT believe. It seems as if NOT believing makes far more sense. But I can’t not believe.

Maybe that’s God. Maybe that something inside me that refuses to stop believing, that certainly isn’t me – maybe that’s God. I hope so.

Requiescat in pace, young master G.

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19

09 2011

How Should We Read “The Revelation of St. John”?

St. John the Divine (Not Actual Size)

A buddy and I were discussing the sorry state of the world, and he mentioned that he’s pretty pessimistic about the future of our species. I asked him the reason for his pessimism, and he replied, “The Book of Revelation”. He then asked me what I thought, and this is what I wrote to him:

There’s likely no book in the entire Bible as controversial as Revelation. When I was a kid, I read it literally and believed it was a literal prophecy of stuff that was literally gonna happen. As I got older and a little more experienced and a little wiser, I began to see  it differently. It’s pretty hard to read it now with an unjaundiced eye because of all the “interpretations” I was exposed to as a kid, but I try.

I have little doubt that John is writing what he experienced. I believe he had an ecstatic experience, like Teresa of Avila, like various mystics throughout time, like many people who seem to be more spiritually “tuned-in” than the normal person. (And – if I may say so – unlike me.)

The “vision”, as it were, appears to be in 3 or 4 major parts. (Four if you count the intro.) At the intro, John has his vision of the Risen Christ standing amidst the  candlesticks. There’s a brief conversation where John is told to write what he sees and hears, and then it dives straight into the first of the 3 major parts: the message to the 7 churches.

If any part of Revelation was ever intended to be taken literally, it is perhaps this section. The seven churches named in those first few chapters are churches that actually existed in that time. Apparently, John was given a particular message to pass along to each of the leaders of these individual churches. My suspicion is that the churches – when they heard the message addressed to them in particular – understood exactly what was meant. I likewise suspect that anyone who takes those messages and applies them to different places and times than those to which they were are addressed are just plain getting it wrong. Not that the messages are not timeless, but they were clearly addressed to a specific set of people in a specific place at a specific time.

The middle section of the book is the freaky part: the “Whore of Babylon”, a beast with ten horns, dragons spitting out floods to drown babies, swarms of deadly locusts, stars falling from the sky, rivers turning to blood, seven angels sounding seven trumpets, The Book of Life! The biggest clue that this part should be read symbolically rather than literally is the beast and dragon stuff. If that part is symbolic, then the stuff about  stars falling and rivers turning to blood is also intended as metaphor. Although I can barely speculate what the bit about the beast and the dragon means, the bit about stars falling from the sky is a fairly common piece of imagery in Oriental literature – it is a way of talking about rulers being deposed and kingdoms being overthrown. The “beast with ten horns” can be interpreted as the Roman Empire with some degree of consistency. What is not at all clear is whether the one horn that grew and ruled the others refers to a particular ruler or a particular kingdom. I suspect again that readers familiar with Oriental imagery understood it much better than we do.

The end of the second part is the truly freaky apocalyptic stuff – the opening of the two scrolls, the appearance of The Lamb, the judgment of the Beast and the Whore of Babylon. Frankly, I haven’t a clue what to make of it. The only conclusion I can draw is that John had a mind-blowing vision. (An excess of pain-killers, maybe? Tradition has it that he survived being boiled in oil and ultimately died of natural causes at a ripe old age.)

The last major section is the description of the New Heavens and the New Earth. Pretty cool stuff, but a lot of it completely defies physics, so if we are to read it literally as a prophecy about what is to come, then we must of necessity also read it as a prophecy that the fundamental laws of the physical universe are going to be altered. What should we think of that? Well, if Death – the final enemy – is truly to be overcome, then the fundamental laws of the universe MUST be overcome. The whole universe is dying – entropy dictates the end state of everything, and there is nothing to prevent that from being the final state of all matter – nothing within the physical universe anyway.

A striking part of this book is the repetition of the number 7. Such repetition is a fairly common literary device that gives structure and cohesion to the work. Early oral literature made use of such devices to insure that the structure of the tale held together as it was passed on from generation to generation. Revelation shows many of the same influences. (And that’s kinda cool, because the Apostle John was certainly not a highly educated man – but this is clearly a work of genius or divine inspiration – take your pick.)

I think it is a freaky, amazing, disturbing and comforting vision of a realm that most of us never suspect exists, let alone have the opportunity to see. Are there lessons we are to learn from it? That I honestly cannot say. There are some really wise things said in the book, and some really cryptic things, and some really downright silly things. (A city that is a CUBE? Really? C’mon, man!) It contains some of the most famous literary imagery and phrases in all of western literature, so it is certainly worth reading, studying even. But is it a reliable, trustworthy description of actual events that are yet to take place? To be honest, I doubt it.

Nostradamus had a series of similarly fantastic ecstatic experiences, and his “prophecies” are ambiguous enough to be interpreted as being accurate – but only in hindsight. Teresa of Avila had ecstatic experiences that were clearly life-altering, and that make for worthwhile contemplation, but aren’t remotely prophetic. I think the quality of John’s vision falls somewhere in between those two.

The Revelation of St. John the Divine is an extraordinary work. Like all works of great art, it bears the marks of a divine touch. But I think interpreting any of it literally is a mistake.

07

09 2011

Quote Unquote

If you want to make a lot of money, pitch God to fundamentalists and don’t try to write good books. Instead, try to write books that [fundamentalists] are going to like. And those two things don’t go together.

Frank Schaeffer in his interview with Kirkus Review of Books.

03

07 2011

Why Christianity? Why not something else?

I was listening to some of the kids at church talk about various other faiths, and was struck by how unimpressed they are with their own faith. The overwhelming impression I got from these kids is that faith is a matter of consumer options, like the choice between an iPhone or an Android phone – and about as important.

Many of my fellow believers have no awareness that their beliefs are fundamentally identical to most other religions. They like to tell themselves they are unique, but in practice, they prove their beliefs are very common.

If that is true – if Christianity has the same basic common foundational beliefs as any other religions – then choosing to be a Christian or a Muslim or a Mormon is the same type of choice as deciding what brand of car to drive. All cars are fundamentally built the same way and do the same thing – some better, some worse – but at the end of the day, what makes them unique is the details – all cars are fundamentally just a machine to move you around.

So what is that most Christians really believe? Here it is in a nutshell:

If you follow the rules, God will reward you. If you ignore the rules, He will punish you.

This is essentially what Muslims believe, Hindus believe, Mormons believe, Jehovah’s Witnesses believe or for that matter Zoroastrians, Pagans and Baal worshipers. The only difference between the various religions is in the rules. Muslims must worship on Fridays. JWs must not celebrate holidays. Mormons must wear holy underwear. Pagans must  be kind. Baal worshipers must sacrifice a child now and then. I have no idea what Zoroastrians believe, but I suspect it is something equally stupid.

Christians don’t believe their faith is fundamentally different, they just think their rules are better.

Urgh.

If that’s the case, I have zero interest in teaching anyone to be a Christian, because frankly, a lot of the Christian rules are just stupid. If the only thing Christianity has to recommend it is “better rules”, then I think people should be Buddhists instead.

But I contend that Christianity is not just a faith differentiated by better rules; Christianity is different at its very core. To return to my transportation analogy: Whereas all the other faiths are automobiles, Christianity is a Star Trek Transporter.

What is it that makes the Christian faith utterly completely totally unique – unlike any other? I am not talking about the story of its beginnings, because every faith has a unique story. I am talking about the claims Christianity makes about God and Man and how that affects believers in their everyday lives.

There is One Thing that makes the Christian story utterly unlike any other. Do you know what it is? Please comment.

10

06 2011

Becoming “as a little child”

People were also bringing babies to Jesus to have him touch them. When the disciples saw this, they rebuked them. But Jesus called the children to him and said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” Luke 18:15-17

In this passage, Jesus says that we cannot enter “the Kingdom of God” unless with receive it like a little child. A lot of people think that when Jesus says “the Kingdom of God”, he is referring to the place that believers end up after they die, but that is a mistake. A kingdom is, by definition, the place ruled by a King. The Kingdom of God is therefore the place that is under the rule of God. Or to put it more succinctly: everything everywhere. That means that the danger for us is this: if we do not become like little children, we will be right smack in the middle of God’s Kingdom, and yet not be part of it.

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25

02 2010

Thoughts on Lent

I came to the Xian Calendar fairly late. I was raised in a church that thought anything liturgical smacked of Roman Catholicism and since everyone knew that Roman Catholics were going to hell, we had nothing to do with liturgy. As a result, I had just about zero familiarity with Xian liturgies until I was 40. (By the way, – just to be clear – I no longer believe Roman Catholics are going to hell. Unless they are bankers. And that has nothing to do with being Catholic. But I digress.)

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17

02 2010

In Memory of Ken Jessup

I lost an old friend today. He had been in poor health – really  for as long as I knew him, so in some ways, today’s news was not a surprise. But it still hurts. He was younger than me. He lived with us in Texas for a year. He worked for me. He moved on with life, found a woman to love him, got married and died much too young.

“Mr. Metaphor”, I called him. Ken was a writer who never really found his audience or – perhaps – even his voice. But he was a master of metaphors. I’m gonna miss those metaphors.

He stuck with his faith in God and God’s grace long after most people would have said “screw it”.

We shared a lot of meals over the years. The kids will most likely never forget his Pumpkin Soup. Good God Almighty, that man could make a mess of a kitchen. I’ve never known another person who could dirty so many pots and pans in so little time.

I think he looked up to me, and I fell off the pedestal he put me on when I got divorced several years ago. That bothers me, but not near as much as it hurts to have lost him to death so young.

It seems some people never really get a break, never get over the hump. Ken started life behind the eight ball and never seemed to get out from that position. I was so happy for him when he found Lindsay; one of the most satisfying days of my life was the day I stood with him as he married her. (Strangely, that was also the time my own marriage was cracking apart.)

So for my friend Ken, I offer this traditional Irish blessing – from the heart.

May the road rise to meet you

May the wind be always at your back

May the sun shine warm upon your face

and the rains fall softly upon your fields

and – till we meet again – may God hold you in the palm of His hand.

Ken & Lindsey at The Satisfied Frog in Carefree

Ken & Lindsey at The Satisfied Frog in Carefree

Link to Ken’s blog.

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31

10 2009

For Twenty Billion Dollars…

…literally everyone in the world would have access to safe, sterile, sanitary drinking water.

Here’s the link.

This guy has developed a hand-held water filter that filters out not only all bacteria but also all viruses. Amazing.

Here’s a couple of organizations that also provide wells for those who need water.

Life Outreach International

Charity Water (This is the one my daughter supports.)

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09

09 2009

Karma vs. Grace

This school year I am involved with teaching the yewts at our church during Sunday mornings. The older I get, the less I know that I know, but the few things I do know, I know that I know. Since I want to give these kids something they can hang onto, I am careful to only talk about what I know that I know. (Y’know?)

So the overriding theme of my lessons this year is “Karma vs. Grace”.

It is my contention that the entire world operates with a belief in karma. Not the academic kind of karma, (one of the kids in the class actually knew the official Hindu definition), but the generic kind of “you get what you give” kind of karma. We expect fairness, scream bloody murder when we don’t get it, hold our leaders and public officials to it, and want it applied to greedy industrialists. I am not different.

What I find most  troubling is that most Xians think that is how God operates. It is my contention that God is out of the karma business. I think he exited that business when Jesus pronounced “it is finished” from the cross. God doesn’t operate an accounting business where he is busy balancing the books. Rather, He is the head of a family, and He actively loves His children; their behavior has zero impact on His love for them. This is grace.

Grace is offensive to our sense of justice and our belief in fairness. Worst of all, grace means God has no taste. If grace really is God’s M.O., then it means we are loved by Him not because of what do, not in spite of what we do, but simply because we are loved by Him. There is not a thing we can do about it. What we can do is either enjoy the benefits of His love, or not enjoy them.

I believe in grace, 200 proof, undiluted, delivered full blast from the fire hose. I know for a fact it makes people uncomfortable. People do not want grace, they want karma. Most people want to live in a world where they are rewarded for their good deeds because most people believe they “do enough good” to balance the scales of karma in their favor. The idea that God no longer uses scales is even more offensive than the idea that they might not be doing enough good.

I’ve written extensively about this at my old blogspot blog which I eventually hope to transfer over here.

25

08 2009