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Today’s episode, I’m going to be talking about how to recharge – how to get the passion back into your sexual relationships.
So, let’s review. Yesterday, I talked about the problem with neutralized polarity.
The power and the passion in a sexual relationship is a function of how different the two of you are in terms of your fundamental polarities. Men and women are typically charged as masculine and feminine, just like a battery. Go back and check yesterday’s post if you need to know more.
If you lack passion in your sexual relationship, it’s because you’ve allowed the two of yourselves to become depolarized. The masculine has become emasculated. The feminine has become de-feminized. You’ve become sexually neutral. And where there is sexual neutrality between the two people in the relationship, there is no sexual passion.
How do you fix that? Well, it’s pretty simple. If you’re a man, you’ve got to recharge the masculinity. If you’re a woman, you’ve got to recharge the femininity.
Okay, that may sound simple. It’s not easy, but it is simple, alright?
For women, I’m an expert in what I like, but I’m certainly not an expert in how to be feminine. I can just tell you that when a woman portrays masculine characteristics, it’s a real turnoff. And – I suspect for women – when a man portrays feminine characteristics, it might be easy to be around, it might not be it might not be threatening or intimidating. But it’s certainly not sexually arousing.
So, I’m going to talk to you men now.
Feminism – second and third wave feminism – has essentially decided that masculinity is a problem in and of itself. If you’ve believed that – if you bought into that lie – that’s the first thing you’ve got to shed yourself of.
There is absolutely nothing fundamentally wrong / evil / bad / toxic about being masculine.
Masculinity is one of the natural ways that a human being expresses their fundamental sexual nature. The other fundamental way is femininity.
If you’re a man, you’re probably masculine. If you’re a woman, you’re probably feminine.
I’m gonna take a breath here real quick.
I need to remember to do this – to drink a toast to This Present Moment.
Today’s toast is brought to us by Bragg’s Organic Raw Unfiltered Apple Cider Vinegar. I’ve got a little bit of a sinus infection going on and I’m fasting today and drinking nothing but coffee and apple cider tea. So, here’s to This Present Moment. (It’s supposed to be good for us. You know that reminds me. I want to talk about apple cider vinegar as a solution to various problems. This actually dovetails in with our subject for the day.
Anyway, back to sexual polarity.
As a man, what are the things that you have been taught that a woman wants?
Well, a woman wants – we’ve been told – that women want men to be more sensitive, more tender, more caring, more nurturing. And every adjective that you hear used in that sentence is an adjective that describes an ideal, feminine woman.
What masculinity typically expresses itself as are adjectives like:
- risk seeking
- assertive
- aggressive
- dominant
- domineering
- competitive
- strong – that means physically, mentally, emotionally strong
- Stoic
- lack of emotional volatility
Now, these things can be expressed in lots of different ways. A man who does chores around the house – that’s typically perceived as feminine. It has less to do with the actual activity than with the spirit that motivates that activity.
If a man chooses to clean the house and he does it from a spirit of protection, dominance, aggressiveness, assertiveness, leadership, and stoically, it can still be very masculine.
Where it gets feminine is when it becomes submissive. And that is kind of the bottom line of the primary sexual polarity between masculine and feminine. It is a matter of dominance and submission.
I’m not talking about the sexual kink that goes by the name of “Dominance/submission.” That’s the Dominance – Submission polarity turned up to 11, and if that works for you – more power to you. That’s too much for a lot of people.
But, if you’ve got a lack of passion and power in your sexual relationship, it’s because you men have become more submissive and you women have become more dominant.
As a man, what do you have to do?
You have to increase the assertiveness in your relationship. You have to increase the immovability in your relationship. You cannot be moved by your woman. You cannot be tossed around by your woman. You cannot be shattered by your woman’s moods, by her volatility, by her anxiety, by her emotion. You have to be like the Rock of Gibraltar.
Frankly, the very best image of the perfect sexual interplay between a man and a woman is a wave crashing against a boulder. The one is not moved, and the other doesn’t change it’s essential function as flowing water.
I realize this sounds very – what’s the word I’m looking for? Nebulous? Ephemeral? Tthat’s the word I was looking for. I realize this sounds very ephemeral. It’s something that is more caught than taught.
As a man, you’re gonna know in your gut whether or not you’ve been emasculated. As a woman you’re gonna know in your gut whether or not you’ve emasculated your man.
I can tell you, if you’re in a modern relationship that’s been immersed in 60 years of feminism, the chances are very, very high that you women are emasculating your men and that you men are allowing it.
It’s time to stop it.
It’s time to stop it.
This is Jack Heald, The Dad You Wish You Had. Thanks to Braggs for the raw unfiltered apple cider vinegar.
We’ll talk to you tomorrow.
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