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Sir Isaac Newton discovered that one of the rules of the physical universe is that every action creates an equal and opposite reaction. And as best as we can tell, that’s true. It’s true for everything that has anything to do with physics.
But I assert that it also has truth in the moral realm and the behavioral realm.
When you are dishonest, you create a situation in the fabric of reality that inevitably creates a response. Now, let’s get down to brass tacks.
I have a real good friend that I have a lot of discussions with about male/female interactions. She and I see the realm of masculine-feminine interactions pretty much the same way. So, we’re able to have some fairly productive conversations.
We talk to one another about the people that we are dating and the kinds of dates that we have.
Yesterday she told me about a guy that she had a date with on Friday or Saturday night. This guy made a bunch of promises after they saw one another on Saturday night about what would happen on Sunday. And he hasn’t he hasn’t followed through.
He lied. He lied to get what he wanted.
Now, he may not see it but those of us who are out in the dating world – and this holds true whether you’re 15 to 35 or in your 50s like I am, or anywhere in between – when a man lies to a woman in order to get what he wants, he creates a rift in the fabric other women are going to experience and other men are going to experience.
Very specifically, this man doing this with women out in the world is creating a situation with women that makes them think “all men are like this” and “you can’t trust anything that men say.”
It’s the kind of thing that creates man-hating women. Justifiably so. This man frankly just intended to use my friend to get what he wanted, and he said whatever is necessary to get it.
In a similar way, there are women out there who do the same thing and there are men who are traumatized by women like that.
I don’t want to overuse the word “trauma,” but it’s fair enough.
When you lie to a member of the opposite sex, when you deceive, when you allow – through words or actions, through lack of words or lack of actions – when you allow the other person to have an inaccurate belief about the nature of the reality that you propose, then you’re creating a rift in the fabric of reality, a rift that will be mended by reality. And it will be mended in a way that is painful for a lot of people.
Suffering is not an option. Everybody in life suffers. But there’s necessary and unnecessary suffering. There’s avoidable and unavoidable suffering.
When you lie, when you deceive, when you create a situation that violates the fabric of reality, then you set it up so that other people are gonna suffer. And you are gonna suffer as well.
So, look out for your fellow man. Men, stop lying and don’t look at all women as if they are the kinds of women who have deceived you and lied to you in the past. They’re not all like that. They’re not all completely dishonest. Some of them are.
And to women who’ve been lied to by men in the past: on behalf of all the men who regret that, who’ve done it in the past and have vowed to never do it again, I issue my sincere apologies.
I’m Jack Heald, The Dad You Wish You Had, and we’ll talk to you next time.
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